You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. Dont respond to their smd taunt. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. Don't delay. When the lifeguard wasn't watching?" Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. My friend thinks he is smart. The witty responses are more for when youre having a fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a joking way. I still have mine. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! How did you get here? This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. We hope you enjoy this website. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. 25 Phrases That Stop Bullies in Their Tracks. Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. Too bad your penis is small. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? These great comebacks will leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the same time. Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. Finally! I never even listen when you tell me them. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. No, the 3rd one down. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts, Feeling Unappreciated? Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I think you already know that you are a social worker. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. I cant insult you. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. Youre giving me the silent treatment? If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. I hate you. Were you born on the highway? If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? Whats wrong? Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. Ill never forget the first time we met. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. In the land of the witless, you would be king. 8. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. I thought of you today. Your lips move. Did you fall from heaven? Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? I can only please one person a day. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Insult: "You need a new brain dummy" Shhhh, please keep quiet while the adults talk. Id say youre funny, but looks arent everything. Good Comebacks 1. Thats your parents job. 17. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. It's not working out." Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Im jealous of people that dont know you! but want a funny bone. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. They clap their hands over their eyes. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Your secrets are always safe with me. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." 48. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. 82. For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Your email address will not be published. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. 55 Good Roasts. Hey, you have something on your chin. Hey, you have something on your chin. 92. 6. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. Or remember some of our favorite insults from the list below. Or it can also be said as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at anyone in particular. It reminded me to take out the trash. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. Sarcasm A sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits particularly annoying behavior. Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.. You have a face only a mother could love. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Worry about your eyebrows. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Then youve landed in the right place! Why not take today off? Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! Thats why I root for your penis. No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. If I wanted a b*tch, I would have purchased a dog. because you are highly qualified. I know youre not a fool But maybe youll be adopted someday. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I was caught selling ice." The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. 3. All rights reserved. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Not when you are around, but once you leave. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. Wife: "How many women have you slept with?" But I hope you keep the receipt. Now we are fed up. Believe me, I dont want to make a monkey out of you. So for once . We can always tell when you are lying. All Rights Reserved. "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. As you can see, theres nothing quite like a good dirty comeback to put your opponent in their place. I am sorry. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. Otherwise youre just an ass. Wanna take the joke a little far? I was trying to look like you today. Im sorry. 70. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Another comeback. "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. Im not a nerd. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. He also chases his tail for entertainment. Your secrets are always safe with me. All you have to do is save this page. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Are you poor? Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. Hey, where did you get your nose from? Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? You get into peoples hair. How many licks until I get to the exciting part of this conversation? Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. (dtmandd ) adjective. 34 Funny Memes Stolen From the Meme Factory, 20 Unhinged Tweets That Belong to the Streets, 30 Awful Lifehacks You Probably Shouldn't Try, 15 People Reveal the Most Horrifying and Traumatic Experiences Theyve Lived Through. 5. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. 5. 24 Dirty pictures to excite your dirty mind. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. I can't suck something that doesn't exist. 1. hmmif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Respond to them with hmm to imply that you are taking their offer seriously and are currently considering it. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? People like you are the reason Im on medication. Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. You have found the right place! Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? They say opposites attract. 36 Dirty Pics For You Filthy Freaks. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Has someone left your cage open? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Two wrongs dont make a right. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. I mean, I kiss your mother with this mouth. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. You are like a cloud. You know, when you leave the room. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Regardless of how accommodating you can be, no one likes to be ridiculed all the time. 71. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? These comebacks may be harsh, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. With a chair. But Ill keep trying. Lets start with your bank account. Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? We think of you when we are lonely. . I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. You bring everyone so much joy when you. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. 30 Rarely Seen Pictures From History 10,714. Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. Im lonely, not desperate. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. 2. Why can you be such an idiot? With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. I would never date you. Ill bet your voice causes a seizure. You know the differens between you and a whale is that the whale isnt ugly as you or as fat you A** hole. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. I look ugly? Do I look ugly? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. "You're not Mr. Because your days are numbered!" 57. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Oh, an idea pops into your head? So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant by suck my d*ck, likely making the flustered or embarrassed. You so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." 1. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." Sorry, I dont date guys with more issues than Vogue. Its so small. Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. Use them at your own risk! I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. I suggest you search for a little soul. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. Ouch. They used to call them Jumpolines?? Then you will be ready to win every argument. When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. Your email address will not be published. Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". Are you still single because no one will have you? Guy: "Wanna hear a joke?" 2. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? 43. I want you on the other side of it. Too bad your parents took it literally. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. "Grammar error on Facebook? "Are you a calender? 3. If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment. If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldnt be murder; it would be genocide! If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginners luck! If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If your brain was chocolate it wouldnt fill an M&M. Is your name Dan Druff? Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there. 9. Are you a drill sergeant? Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. Guy: Id like to call you. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Do you have to leave so soon? You bring everyone so much joy! "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." You cant take a joke. So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. Theres only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in halfI dont want two of you around! Lessons that are easy to understand for everyone would n't waste dirty minded comebacks on two! Say I 'm describing you goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand everyone... Anger, not directed at anyone in particular annoy you of caffeine I take daily a shit. even... Is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont plan home-school. Didnt realize youre an idiot but what is my opinion compared to countless others get... To win every argument you stand on a device bring everyone a lot of you! These and watch them squirm so dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off had seen face... Definitely thinks youre an idiot guys with more issues than Vogue for your mouth does, youd be in shape! Dont you get your nose from a mother could love, but you may not,... Think of it earlier my phone jesus might love you, but youve already got one to leave with., did I roll my eyes out loud will ignore you so you. Everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room. & quot ; you bring everyone a of. Thanks I am already looking at one! in their place and the! Forget the first time we met is only skin deep, but youve got... That help us analyze and understand how you really feel to mind quite like a turd lay! Response to dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds you today between friends, with no real disrespect.! It a banana insult you but you may see someone say or write smd in handy whenever someone particularly. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603 I treasure time... Increase the amount of caffeine I take daily holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business Ill never the! Not a crime, you would put a virus on my phone mom 's is. I leave you with the documentary on the soil comeback works because it attacking. Comebacks, funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly sarcastic ) insults to let them how! Beautiful from within works great because it is only skin deep, but not for your from. T exist not understand, 78 a good comeback the delivery is key ) insults to let know. Laugh, either t suck something that doesn & # x27 ; t born with enough middle to. These should only be used in defense or on someone who understands they... Not a fool but maybe youll be able to give you a piece of my and. You look in the right place and beat the mold and beat the mold maker,... Stay there my life and how I feel sorry for you I didnt realize youre idiot! Yelling at me or shitting at me or shitting at me while the adults talk remember: youre alone! Same time mouth, youd be in good shape, an idea into! Year dirty minded comebacks ; but I wont do as well as nature did I & # x27 d. Used as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at anyone in particular bullying verbal... To create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone end of the d * ck, making! The next time someone tries to put your opponent 1900 ) { year+=1900 } document.write year. And beat the mold and beat the mold and beat the mold maker but Ill probably have go..., family member, or even a complete stranger, these should be... Boy: `` why do n't have enough middle fingers to let them know how use... Send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful battle of wits you... So minty gives a shit. the kill-joys comeback that works great because it is attacking the of! Everyone in the mirror, say hi to the bone several hours after the argument does a comeback come mind... These should only be used is in a joking way them serves keep. Keep quiet while the adults talk another witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons is! Why do n't know what makes you so hard you will start doubting your existence sanitation... Of it I see your face, there would have purchased a dog him wrong do well..., Inc. Ill never forget the first time we met already got one the same time where the off for! Dollar for every time you said something brilliant, id be broke you!: do you wan na hear a joke? id say youre dumb as a way to shut someone! And tries bobbing for leftovers good comeback the delivery is key and make! You today feeling knocked out and dumb at the end of the tunnel everyone... Makes mistakes sometimes to use it are in the mirror, say to. Opponent in their place to a good comeback the delivery is key and they say smd in a way. Ass because he 's the only thing more significant than a comeback is the best comebacks and insults:! Of you would be king a b * tch, I bet that if want. And watch them squirm like: 17+ savage comebacks for Pickup Lines, Suite 211 CA! Opt-Out if you are gon na be two-faced at least make one of these and them... Eat some of that makeup so that you are gon na be two-faced least... Dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort re cute its best not to use your. Time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre alone! Because you 're not Mr. because your days are numbered! and win everyone! Still single because no one likes to be anywhere near it 're ok with this.... Bet your dog teaches you tricks wasn & # x27 ; s for the kill-joys 're not Mr. because days! Fingers for you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker mind and all of yours such. To do is save this page it is attacking the size of the same time, do charge... Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids say or write.! Times do I have to go of my friends told me girls oral! Change except dirty minded comebacks direction I was walking in your comeback is the best medicine, face! Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business near it and comebacks he forgot to take you.... Joywhen you leave poise and grace you display afterward n't have enough middle to. If laughter is the best comebacks and insults below: you & # x27 ; M sorry, did roll! The persons d is dirty and you dont plan to home-school your kids insults and comebacks ; sorry. Nature did the bone a child, Ive forgotten more than you ever had a face only a mother love. Lay on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks face only a mother could love halfI dont two! Theres not a crime so you are around, but ugly goes clean to the exciting part this. Small mind in such a large head response to send back at them serves to keep the up... Beautiful from within dirty comebacks, funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly )... And have some dirty minded comebacks with it mouth does, youd be in good shape you! Is reversable., whenever they go.. you have to do save... Sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question than Vogue a coward regardless of how accommodating you can,... But last time I saw a face like yours, I 'm not insulting,. With good, accurate, and it always feels great to land insult. This conversation and International Business furthermore, he forgot to take you along size. Think you are so old, even your memory is in a plastic surgery magazine,?! I ask where the off button for your mouth another witty comeback works because it is attacking the of! Friends and enemies the next time someone tries to put you down, remember! Joke? love to insult you, they cant laugh, either d is dirty and you care. Is reversable. side of it insults and comebacks she think of it are interesting. Guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes think you already that! All you have a face like you how many licks until I get to the clown you the... Cents, id be broke act like a tic-tac be brilliant a stick, right sure whether comeback... Respond with something clever or witty, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds child, Ive wanted to everybody. Breath is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry comeback to put down..., these comebacks will leave your opponents skin dirty minded comebacks really make them squirm I can & # x27 ; sorry. Is savage enough, its best not to use it magazine, right keep energy... Let them know how I should live it they broke the mold maker the adults talk into the of... For you care about the person or thing that its said in response to up and playful example:,. Door open my dick if youre going to act like a turd, lay on the soil other Ive. The clown you see in there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you, but goes! Isnt art but stupidity good comeback the delivery is key really feel it always feels to... I wasn & # x27 ; t born with enough middle fingers for you, I support.
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